Sunday, September 27, 2009

So What About You?

We are all looking for something, whether it be love, acceptance, money, fame, fortune, or even piece of mind. It's that search that drives us to do so many things, all in a bid to grab a hold of the things we want. But what is it? What is it that YOU want? What are YOU looking for? What are those things that you haven't found yet? I've thought about those things, because I am an overthinker who uses my super brain power for useless stuff and obsessions. I've never actually considered making a list though. A list of the things that I'm looking for. So maybe I should give it a shot and at least write five or so of them down here.

1. Understanding. Now, I have caught glimpses of understanding before. Here and there. I think some people have even gotten real close to making me feel 100% understood. I still think it could be better. I'm shooting for 100%.

2. Companionship. Okay, duh. We all pretty much want a partner in crime, right? I guess this kinda connects with the first one too. It's a lot to ask of someone though, isn't it? It's a tough job. Then again "someone's gotta do it..." I hope so at least. Especially for a nutter like me.

3. Home. Yes, I have a home. I'm not homeless. What I'm talking about is a space that I would actually feel I belong in. I don't have that. Not right now. What I do have is somewhere that I feel is more of a house than a home. A roof and walls. I never really felt right in this city either. I don't think California is right for me. If I do go somewhere else, maybe I'll miss it and run back. I won't know until I try though.

4. Stability. Most of this has to do with money and job stuff, but stability is the big issue. Some people might say that money and jobs and stuff aren't important. Those people must have it real good. Me, I need those things. Especially now, as the money gets spent faster and faster with the addition of medical insurance payments, visits to the neurologist, meds and shots and all the rest. I don't want to have to rely on my helpful family and turn into a burden, and I don't want to have to worry about where the money is going to come from. Stability.

5. "Grindhouse" Japanese Box Set. This DVD set is freakin' sweet! I've been dying to get it and it's just too far out of my price range. It's amazing. It hold this set in my hands would make me a very happy nerd. A very happy nerd indeed.

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