Um, yea... I don't text. I'm an octogenarian*.

I've never been a social being. Always a loner or almost one. I've always been able to count the amount of friends I had on one hand (if that hand belonged to a bad shop teacher or Vietnam vet). These days are no different, but I feel myself wanting to change that. That's weird though, because generally speaking, I hate people.

Seriously. Just about everyone either gets on my nerves or I get on theirs. I am a square peg in a world of round holes. I really don't have much to lose though, so I guess it's about time I accept people when they say they actually want to be my friend (weirdos!). Or maybe I can actually tell people, "Hey, I want to be your friend".

What do I have to be afraid of anyway? Well, there's always things like this... (Give it time, the text is a winner!)


Yea, totally frightening. I know. I think I saw it in one of the last Final Destination movies. The seventh one. The one in space. Or was it underwater? Either way. Totally awful. I feel bad for that guy. Mario needs to learn proper etiquette.

Okay, so I am a total weenie, but I am just not good in social situations. If I am in a crowd, even if it's family, I find myself panicking. I NEED to extract myself from the room immediately. It's scary. I am good one-on-one though. After I relax a little, I can actually be pretty funny. Some have even said charming (and no, they weren't drooling AND wearing a helmet. Just one or the other). I've even been known to make a good impression when introduced to other people. Maybe because they don't get to know me well enough. Or maybe I just don't see what others see.

We can't all be Mr. Confident though, right? Otherwise there would be more seasons of Tool Academy on VH1. Frightening, I know. I definitely don't want spikey hair with frosted tips. I don't want to call anyone "bro", at least to their face. Maybe some people will actually find me interesting or nice BECAUSE I'm not one of those guys. I sure hope so, cause a fat dude with frosted tips just looks like an outcast from New Jersey. NO ONE likes an outcast from New Jersey.

*In case you weren't sure, an "octogenarian" is a person in their eighties. So they are tooootally old.

So What About You?

We are all looking for something, whether it be love, acceptance, money, fame, fortune, or even piece of mind. It's that search that drives us to do so many things, all in a bid to grab a hold of the things we want. But what is it? What is it that YOU want? What are YOU looking for? What are those things that you haven't found yet? I've thought about those things, because I am an overthinker who uses my super brain power for useless stuff and obsessions. I've never actually considered making a list though. A list of the things that I'm looking for. So maybe I should give it a shot and at least write five or so of them down here.

1. Understanding. Now, I have caught glimpses of understanding before. Here and there. I think some people have even gotten real close to making me feel 100% understood. I still think it could be better. I'm shooting for 100%.

2. Companionship. Okay, duh. We all pretty much want a partner in crime, right? I guess this kinda connects with the first one too. It's a lot to ask of someone though, isn't it? It's a tough job. Then again "someone's gotta do it..." I hope so at least. Especially for a nutter like me.

3. Home. Yes, I have a home. I'm not homeless. What I'm talking about is a space that I would actually feel I belong in. I don't have that. Not right now. What I do have is somewhere that I feel is more of a house than a home. A roof and walls. I never really felt right in this city either. I don't think California is right for me. If I do go somewhere else, maybe I'll miss it and run back. I won't know until I try though.

4. Stability. Most of this has to do with money and job stuff, but stability is the big issue. Some people might say that money and jobs and stuff aren't important. Those people must have it real good. Me, I need those things. Especially now, as the money gets spent faster and faster with the addition of medical insurance payments, visits to the neurologist, meds and shots and all the rest. I don't want to have to rely on my helpful family and turn into a burden, and I don't want to have to worry about where the money is going to come from. Stability.

5. "Grindhouse" Japanese Box Set. This DVD set is freakin' sweet! I've been dying to get it and it's just too far out of my price range. It's amazing. It hold this set in my hands would make me a very happy nerd. A very happy nerd indeed.

And Now...

And now back to our regularly scheduled program!

So I added 4 links on the side of this blog page deal thing. Right over there, to the right.

First is a link to MSunderstood. It'd run by Dana & Jackie, two awesome girls who strangely enough tell you some pretty unawesome things in their blog. Stuff like poo problems. Gross, huh? Yea, but it also is an amazing blog from two lovely ladies who are living with multiple sclerosis and aren't totally boring old farts. (My apologies to the older ladies out there. I love you. Especially them cougars. Rawr!)

Second is 12 December 2008. This one is pretty new to me,  but I felt an instant connection with it, and the blog-runner Lori, when I read something I might as well have written myself. "I am really, really boring." Okay, now I know I am totally underselling with a quote like that, but you know, boring people are entertaining too. God, I hope so. Otherwise I have NO chance.

Next is List Of The Day. That one is always good for a chuckle. I check it out every day, when I'm not blabbing about myself in here or on twitter. Vein much?

First Showing is a great site where I find quite a few choice bits of movie news. I love movies, so it's pretty much my version of CNN or something.

Oh, and I also added Lifehacker. I check it out all the time, and every once and a while I find some awesome tip or idea that I never thought of but I know after reading it, life will never be the same. Ever. (Exaggeration alert!) Anyway, this site has pointed me in the right direction a couple of times, and all I know is I have never opened a banana the same way again.

Alright, so there ya go! Enjoy. Be back later with more diatribes and ramblings about how crazy and boring my life is. Fun, huh?

Love Letter To A Friend

I made a mistake. I did, and I take full responsibility. I took your friendliness, your caring, and your good nature and I interpreted it as something it wasn't. I read signals wrong and I walked down the wrong path. Once I started walking in that direction, I stayed course and lost touch with reality. I liked you. I liked you more than you liked me (obviously). I opened myself up to vulnerability knowing that I'd probably end up hurt, but when it happened I was surprised. Why? Because I am stupid. But also because it was you. I looked at you with blinders on and sometimes I still do. Those rose colored glasses that reveal the beauties of life, the ones I can never seem to get a hold of. It's fine though, I don't blame you. My intensities, my quirks, those things that make me, me... those things weren't a right fit. Not for you. It just stung, you know? Hurt.

Here's the problem though. You want me to get back on that path, the friend path. I do too. I had fun there, being your friend. I'm working on it, but it's just a bit difficult. You are somewhere where you can still see me as a good friend. I'm somewhere else, where I don't know how to feel, where the scars are still visible, and where every stupid decision I made is still front and center. It would be sooo nice to hear your voice, but it only reminds me of how dumb I was to think I was anything more than what I actually was...

Your friend,

Damon

It's A Gas

Holy crap!

So I did something just now that I really shouldn't have. I looked at my checking account. MISTAKESVILLE, WEST VIRGINIA. Yea, I knew it was dwindling away, considering the fact that I don't have an income since I don't have a job, but wowzers.

It's the medical insurance payments, the visits to the neurologist, and the trips to the pharmacy. Those are the big minuses in the credits/debits area of the account. They cost lots, duh. The money I do get from (the temporary and almost completely used up) disability helps with this stuff, sure. Not completely though, and that's no bueno.

Then there are the unnecessary expenses, like the twenty I spent on two albums this week, or a trip to the movies or something like that. They ARE necessary to my sanity though, so does that count? Seriously, if I hadn't spent some of that money on that "unnecessary" stuff, I probably would have blown my brains out. How's that for dire?! Okay, so that's a bit of exaggeration on my part, but come on, I gotta let myself have some little joys. Otherwise, I think I would definitely go off the deep end.

So why don't you just get a job Damon? Hahahaha. Thanks "Mr. Crazy Voice Inside My Head", I didn't think of that! Well, for ONE, I have been trying unsuccessfully for quite a while. Then there's the other thing - I'm not exactly sure what I should be looking for anyway. All of the previous stresses I was able to handle in the workplace I pretty much fail at nowadays. Then there were those things I was actually good at. For example, I would rock the mathematical house at work before. Need to know how much a crazy percentage was off an even crazier price? No problemo! Need a big ass sheet of numbers calculated? You came to the right place my friend. Rain Man had nothing on me! Well, except autism... and better social skills. Now I totally stumble over all my numbers unless I write stuff down or use a calculator. I'm no longer what I used to be, that's for sure

So what do I do about money? Well, I don't know. It worries me. Big time. It's one of those things that is definitely freaking me out. I look for answers and I just end up with more questions. I talk out loud or voice my worries to others. Yes, some do try and help, but I just end up feeling worse I think. Like I am letting them down when their suggestion doesn't work. Now I am not only a disappointment to myself, but to others too. Great.

I know people don't just walk up to you and offer up legit employment or anything like that, but there's always a first, right? Gotta be LEGIT though. I have no need for pyramid schemes and I am faaaaaaar from being the right type to strip for money. Then again, if I knew I would get seriously paid, I probably would show off my gross body for that fistful of dollars. Hahaha. Gross...

"People? What a bunch of bastards!"

People. I get it, we all need people at some point or another. Whether it's for company, or for help, or for "love" or whatever, we all need other people. Just not ALWAYS. Well, who knows? Maybe some people DO need others around and will just about die without some sort of company. Me though, I am not that person. Not right now anyway.

Right now I feel pretty freakin' crowded. I may have been able to claim my territory here and there, but there's a problem. At this point, it's really not enough. Just the sight of the people I see everyday is slowly wearing on me. AND IT'S MY FAULT. They did nothing. Nothing. And yet, I'd really like to just have them go away. Far Away. For quite a while.

If anything, they did the whole above-and-beyond thing. I can't be a pleasure to be around, I'm sure. It's just, at this point, I need to be able to at least have a space to myself that actually feels like mine. I so desperately want to just be able to sit in a room by myself. I don't know why but Christ, I need it bad. I want to be able to just sit, in a room, BY MY SELF. Nope, not happening.

Just venting about it I feel like I could cry. I'm gonna blame it on my MS-Life Emotions though so I don't feel like a complete pathetic sad sack. I talk about my desire to move, but I don't see it happening any time soon (by soon I'd love it to be as soon as tomorrow). Definitely far from here, definitely out of state. The strange thing is, despite how much I want that solitary feeling, I wouldn't move unless I knew I had some sort of support system in place. I don't have the confidence in myself to know whether or not I could handle all of life's bullcrap without knowing that I could call upon some backup if I needed it. Even if I never needed it. Just knowing someone was there would be good enough.

Or, and I sit here upset and without any answers that I actually would like to hear, I could just ignore the problem. Ignore it until I forget it. I'll forget it eventually since that's how my MS-Life Brain works. All I need to do is focus on something else, if it's even for a moment, and I'll just forget what the hell I was doing before. Hmm... Okay, here goes nothing!

LOST... The movie theater... Pizza... Girls...

Okay, what was I talking about again? Oh yea. Pocket-watches. They make me feel classy.

Weird...

So I was just watching TV and I saw Robert Loggia in the new Apple commercial, you know, the Mac & PC guys... Robbert Loggia! Weird.

Chest Explosion!

Anxiety is a freakin' big bag of nutballs.

Okay, I'm sure I could have put it much more eloquently, but it'd really do a disservice to just how crazy I am feeling right now, or anytime I am in one of my anxious moments. They happen now more than ever, and I could attribute it to many different factors, but what good does that do?

So I've always been a bit of an over-thinker, so that doesn't help. Then there's the lack of emotional control which seems to be kinda new and I assume due to the ever-growing MS Fun Time Happy Carnival. That seems to make it worse. Of course, I can always just blame circumstances, which seem to not be so much in my favor... THANKS CIRCUMSTANCES! Either way, it just all builds up and wants to escape and turns me into one of those little nervous, shaky, twisty dogs that pee when a stranger comes up to pet them.

Don't worry. I don't think I have to pee.

I Was A Teenage Frisbee Champion

So there's my memory... or to be a tad more specific, there ISN'T my memory. That's sorta the problem. I'm not saying my mind was ever the mecca of knowledge or anything. I'm not Encyclopedia Brown. All I know is, I NEVER had this much trouble recalling information before. I get the simplest questions, something I should be able to recall from the memory banks immediately and I reach in to get a big handful of nothing.
Now, I know for some of the stuff, it's like who cares? When someone asks a normal person "Who was that guy who starred in those old Disney TV shows as Elfego Baca?" the person usually responds with "Uh... who? What's an Elfego Baca? Do you have something stuck in your teeth? Get away from me you weirdo!" See, I'm no normal person though. Never was, never will be. But I am also a student of film (got a degree and everything! It's hanging up on the wall of my non-existent home, or in my non-existent office next to that stupid Hang In There poster). It's my thing. I love movies and TV and stuff like that, so when I can't remember Robert Loggia, it bothers me. That is freakin' sad. Robert Loggia is upsetting me.
Okay, I know it's not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things that I can't remember names like Robert Loggia, Mary Elizabeth Winstead or Ron Eldard. That's just one example though. There's the other stuff, the normal, everyday stuff. Remembering to turn off a light before leaving a room. Planning on doing something - the big mission - and getting distracted by something stupid like stopping to get a drink and COMPLETELY forgetting about the mission. I will get out of the shower, towel off, and not remember to dry my back! Come on! "Why is my back wet?" I ask myself in a grand moment of duh. Why do I have to ask myself whether or not I dried my back? What's next? "Did you remember to put on pants today?"
Then there are those moments when remembering becomes pretty damn important. Like when I'm paying for something or using the ATM and I have to punch in my PIN number. People stand around waiting while I go into my notes and find the 4 digit number that I JUST went over with myself a few minutes ago in preparation for this exact moment. Anxiety hits instantaneously and my inadequacies are magnified in my eyes to the trillionth degree. "You can put in your PIN now sir..." Uh, gimmie a sec, I know. I just need the number. Oh and what if I don't have my notes with me? I am SCREWED then, that's what. Can we just get that implant or whatever so I can wave my hand and be done with it? I'll risk the possible hand theft.
One thing that did occur to me, today in fact, is that I MIGHT be able to spin this problem into something magnificent. Something fantastical. So let's say my memory gets so bad that I basically lose all of my memories. Those good moments (hardly any, no big loss) that I'd want to talk about as an old man. You know the type, that old dude who goes around telling hilarious stories. Well, if I can't remember those moments, and if I accept that today instead of beating myself up about it later on, then what I CAN do is use my skills as a storyteller and just make memories up.  Who cares if the events never happened? I can't remember the ones that did anyway. Might as well live my life thinking I did the most amazing, ridiculous things. I plan on remembering fondly the year I spent as a grifter, along with my female partner who ended up double-crossing me over a handful of diamonds. Maybe I shouldn't have trusted her, but I definitely don't regret sleeping with her.
So next time I talk to you and I'm telling you a great story - don't think about whether what I am saying is true or not. It really doesn't matter. What matters is that I am talking to you. Consider yourself lucky, I'm freakin' amazing.

The Root of all Schmeevil

So I start wondering to myself, I wonder - Is this because of the MS or is it just me? Would I have done this or felt that way even if I had never had the damn thing? Is MS a big trigger for tons of weird crap or is it merely a detail in the odd trajectory of what is, essentially, my life?
Heavy stuff right?! Okay, yea, I know I could never come to a true conclusion to intangible and ridiculous questions like that one, why we exist, or who God is (even though we all know it's probably someone like Hugh Hefner or George Clooney or someone else who is living the high life)... but I can't help it! It's a question on my mind like all the damn time.
So think maybe I should go over some of these questions. It was either that or I was gonna talk about why I don't eat seafood
. Yea, the questions are probably more interesting -
Would I have gotten some of those jobs I interviewed for if it weren't for the MS?:
So I've been out of work for over a year now. Now before you ask, I didn't lose it to the MS. When I had a relapse and I was working there, I was able to handle it. Any struggles I had they overlooked because, hey, the people I worked with loved me (what's not to love?!). But that job is gone. Lost to the economy, to bankruptcy and probably shitty business decisions. No use crying over all that mess. Since then though, I've searched all over the place for work, and when I actually did get an interview I'm pretty sure I didn't look very good in their eyes. The interview where I got to showcase the childlike handwriting from the tingle hands. The interview where I had trouble walking. Oh, and of course the job I actually GOT and then was let go from after ONE DAY because I couldn't work hard and fast enough. Jobs I've actually wanted and jobs I really didn't, all passing me by. Sure, I could blame it on the job market. Then again I could blame it on me being unimpressive. Or is it the MS tripping me up with it's little tricks? I can't tell!
Would I be as willing to try things and be as adventurous if I didn't have MS?:
This one is a good one I guess. I think after finally putting a name to all the crazy stuff I was going through I started to realize just how surprising life can be. Things just happen. So its like, what the hell? Screw it. If I have a chance to do something, like bungee jump or go on some crazy trip, it's like - why the hell not? Now, of course, I haven't really got the chance to do things like that. Just yet anyway. Money precludes me from such endeavors. Still, I've done some stuff that I don't think I would have done five yeas ago, or even last year. Then again, I start to wonder, is it just me getting older, restless, and maybe it's part of the Damon evolution. We never stay exactly the same person we always were. If we did, I'd still have that Milli Vanilli VHS tape. Oh, wait, yea I still do.
Would I be having AS much trouble with diet and exercise, or is it the MS?:
Okay, this one is kinda complicated. I've always been overweight. Then again, a little over a year ago I decided to handle it somewhat and I did really well. At the time I had only had my first (undiagnosed) bout with MS five years prior and my second was just going away (still undiagnosed!) and was going away completely without any lingering effects. I was exercising tons and losing weight (like 70 lbs.) with no problem. Now this time, good ol' Mr. Tingly is back and has basically set up permanent residence in my hands and even though I put in the effort I don't really seem to get anywhere. I've actually gained 10 or so pounds. Now, yes, I know, the snacks do not help... but still! Then again, is it just that I'm not doing enough? Or am I doing it wrong? Should I be blaming MS at all?
Well, I think in the end maybe it doesn't really matter if it's MS or not. It's a part of me, so essentially it is me. Just like everyone's MS is a little different because their MS is a part of them. It's a very personal thing. So while it's a great benefit to have something I can blame stuff on (and I will DEFINITELY use it to get outta those things I don't wanna do) I think in the end MS is a part of who I am so, blaming MS is just blaming myself in a way. That'll probably end in a few depressing moments I'm sure, but I'm thinking it'll make the accepting MS thing a little easier. Maybe it's kinda like quicksand - don't struggle, you'll only make it worse. Oh, and when someone tosses you a line, take it.

Aw, screw it.

So I think for my rare blog post, I'm going to touch upon shots. Injections. That nasty business that everyone hates (and I'm just talking about the people getting them done by medical professionals). They are crazy, a bit scary, and above all else... an experience.

So I  know I haven't been GIVING MYSELF shots for my MS for very long but... 

Okay, that still blows my mind. Why am I giving myself a shot? Isn't this something that's supposed to be done by someone who went to school for this stuff? Seriously. How is it that just after being told like 5 steps I am now certified to stick a needle in my own leg? Someone is messing with me. That has to be it.

Anyway, I haven't been injecting for very long (7 weeks), but I get the feeling I will never get used to it. I may become a pro at it, since I'm Captain Awesome, but get used to it? Never. The whole pro thing would be nice though, and fast.

Why the desire for pro status? Well, I had a reeeeally bad time last week with my shot day. First I couldn't uncap the syringe and then the needle was stuck in it's sheath, so it was just all around Bad City USA. Then I'm able to finally connect the needle to the syringe and I guess after all the frustration I didn't recognize that they actually weren't fully connected at all. It's like the weirdest episode of Three's Company ever.

So once the needle was actually in my leg and the plunger was a-plungin'  some of the Avonex just starts dribbling down and onto my leg. As anyone else who's had trouble or a painful time during something like this will tell you, once you hit that certain point and you just feel pushed too far, there's only one appropriate action/reaction. Total meltdown with a possible chance of tantrums.

You know what the best thing after a meltdown is? The realization that you acted like an ass. That feels great. Almost as great as the feeling after taking MS Juice (No Pulp!) and start to feel it's effects. The effects? Well, you'd assume after taking a shot you'd feel better. Well, I'd assume that because I am an idiot. Turns out I get huge headaches, I get dizzy (more than usual), and everything seems to move a bit slower. Right now it kinda feels like an invisible bubble of heavy air is on my chest. Yea, it makes no sense, but... well Christ, leave me alone I feel crappy okay?!

Damon, this is all for good though, right? You have a sickness or disorder, or whatever the hell you have and you take something and it's good for you - just deal. Well, all I know is, this stuff isn't gonna make me any better. I may get "less worse", but it's not gonna cure me or turn me normal. How do I know I'm less worse than I would have been without the shots? Research I guess. Statistics. Now either way, for me this is a pretty damn big leap of faith. Science and stats change all the time. Something is good, then it's bad, something works, then it doesn't.

So does this mean I'm gonna stop? I'll consider it. I probably won't though. The thought of being extremely damaged all because I didn't do something I should have sounds kinda boneheaded to me. I've made enough moronic decisions, so I'd rather keep them to a minimum now. So I'll keep on keepin' on and I'm sure I'll have my good experiences and my bad, but that's what happens, right? That's life. (Cliche alert!) No matter what, I'll try my best and I'll try take solace in the comforting things - 1. I'm not alone, people do this all over 2. I'm here, I'm alive, and I have people who care and 3. I have an iPod, tons of CDs, DVDs, and other material crap! Woo-hoo! (oh, and 4. I'm not Carrot Top or that Screech dude).

Oh, and shout out my wonderful friend Dana (shout out: Holla!) who can make me feel better and wished me well this week with my shot. It worked. Things couldn't have gone smoother unless I was a pro.

My Mind is Dangerous

Lots of stuff goes through my head lately, although none of it ever seems to be positive. It makes me wonder whether they are serious things worth thinking about or if they are all just intensified, exaggerated versions of minor issues that just get blown out of proportion in my spotty, damaged mind.

Look, before all of this MS stuff came to light, I never even considered depression. It was not in my realm of being. I just assumed that it was something that was so… you, know? Like any sadness or whatever that I felt, I knew it was minor. Nothing to worry about. Do a little sulking and let that be that. How or why would doctors or medication ever need to enter the picture? It's just sadness, happiness' ugly twin. It always seemed to be such an out-there concept to me that any of it could be medical or anyone would need to take something to help. If a person is sad or whatever, they're just sad, right?

Then, over the past few months I realize that I am really not all that in control of how I feel anymore. Granted, I still can slap on a smile (or at least a blank expression) if need be, but these days I find that my emotions are just more intensified than I'd like them to be. And this can probably be attributed to those lesions in my brain. Those spots that show up in MRI's that prove my brain is broken. Broken… and now, über emotional.

Not that having emotions is a bad thing, domo arrigato. It's just, especially lately, I have just been so down that there is no other word for it. It's depression. Plain & simple. Sure, I could think about the positives in my life - My parents, who I know won't let me end up homeless and on a freeway offramp begging for nickels. My health, which could be worse but isn't (thank jeebus!). I can see, I can walk, I'm not in a wheelchair. Those are things to be thankful for.

Instead, I feel stuck in this quicksand of negativity. Damon, you have no job. Damon, soon enough you'll have no money. Damon, you moved back home and you haven't been able to leave yet. Damon, you have no room, just a bed & a bookshelf. Damon, you have no car. Damon, you can't lose that weight you desperately need to. Damon, you have no friends. Damon, you have no life. You know what you do have? A shitty outlook on life, Multiple freakin' Sclerosis, and the inability to change the whole life situation dispite trying.

Okay, before I get all Dewey Downer on you (too late!), it is possible that I might be exaggerating. But to me, it sure feels like there's no exaggerating going on. That's where the whole pondering depression as a medical thing comes in. I begin to wonder, is this normal? Am I normal (let's face it, I've never been normal)? Or is this all something I should be dealing with by using some sort of medication? Would it actually help any? It's not like it would actually solve any of those aforementioned life issues that I am so wrapped up in.

What my thought process always lands up on is that all of this is my problem, something in my head or something I should be able to handle, and I just need to stop being a loser and handle it. Take care of business so to speak. It's all just me playing tricks on myself or something. All those feelings of isolation, of desperation, of feeling like I'm the mayor of Losertown - they're stupid and I just gotta move on.

Or they're true. Fuck.

One Word Review: Taking Woodstock

One-Word Review: Exploration

Looks Like: A side of the big trip that hasn't been as examined, or portrayed. Then again, it's not about what really happened as much as it's about the journey. The journey and the transformation.

Take A Look:

Farewell Michaela Watkins!

So apparently Michaela Watkins was fired from Saturday Night Live (click the link... AFTER you read my ramblings! Yeesh.). I mean, granted, she's no Kristen Wiig but that's a pretty big standard K-Wiig's set and we can't ask the other female cast members to live up to that! Out of the four female cast members, Wiig and Abby Elliott will return and Watkins and Casey Wilson have their Saturday night dance card wide open.
Yep, Casey Wilson too. I know, surprising! She's been popping up all over the place. I saw her in an episode of Human Giant, in Julie & Julia, and apparently she co-wrote Bride Wars. Oh. I see. Maybe that's why she was fired. Her bad!

Anyway, all I know is I think Watkins had potential and I am gonna miss her Hoda Kotb in those sketches with her and Kristen Wiig as Kathie Lee Gifford. Oh! Also those bits she did as Angie Tempura, the geeky, iced coffee-drinking computer nerd who is the creator of the snarky website "Bitch Pleeze". Yes, it's the character from the video I use as my official "blogger not here at the moment" sign. It will always have a home here...

A Day At The Theater

So today I went to one of the local Edwards Cinemas. I really used to enjoy going to the movie theater. Now, not as much. Nowadays, I can barely sit through an entire movie without missing scenes. That, dear friends, is a freakin' crime. Let me say it again, in caps this time - I AM MISSING SCENES!

Why? Because I have to duck out to use the restroom. Suuuuperlame. I missed the end of a 90 minute movie (the new Mike Judge flick, "Extract") because I couldn't hold it. 90 minutes! And I made a point to "go" right before. C'mon. That's ridiculous. What, am I geriatric? Then I end up having to ask for a rundown of what I missed. The end of the movie? Yea… I, uh, missed it, but I was told what happened so it's totally just as good. Totally.

This year I have missed a scene in almost every movie I saw in the theaters. Over twenty movies, and numerous experiences ruined for me. Why do I even bother? Well... Hell, I love film. Sad, isn't it? I am, and will always be a film student. I love movies and I love television, and any lame bathroom problems isn't gonna stop me from one of my basic enjoyments.

It will, however, piss me off.

WELCOME!

I moved all the old blog stuff here, to this new WONDERFUL page. Hopefully I'll start writing again. The occasional review, yes, but also personal stuff. Personal stuff? Yea, I'll probably be bitching about my Multiple Sclerosis (I was officially diagnosed in June) and about my current inability to find work and whatever else I feel like complaining about. Sounds fun, right?

Well, maybe I'll throw in fun stuff like how outraged I am that MTV is developing a show based on Teen Wolf (blasphemy!) or all the cool stuff thats been happening (Dave Grohl is rockin' the drums again with members of Queens of the Stone Age and Led Zeppelin?!?). I'd also like to every once and a while post a playlist so the ZERO people who read my blog can maybe find some cool stuff to (probably never actually) listen to. So yes, fun times ahead!

Well, at least until I abandon another blog again....