Everybody's Workin For The Weekend

Here are 2 reasons why I have so much trouble at work...

1. I get tired... quick. I don't pace myself right off the bat and then I get pooped and start pacing myself. Then they look at me like I'm being lazy (since they don't know about the MonSter). I freak out a little over it and that just makes me more tired. Keyword: Tired.

2. My brain...just...doesn't...work. It doesn't. I'll see something over and over and yet forget it almost instantly. I get baffled trying to find something and will look over and over in the same spot and see absolutely nothing. Then I will look in the same spot again and see it. Oh, and when someone says something to me or explains stuff, I just go blank. Blank. When people talk to me and try to explain things to me, this is what they see:

Yes. That is me. If you're ever wondering what I look like classmates, that is essentially what I look like.

So in summation, I suck at my job and I need to either figure something out or get better quick, because they are starting to show signs of dissatisfaction. I have a feeling that soon enough this is gonna be one of those their way or the highway situations, and I'll be the one walking down the road.

Casette 1. Side A. "People Are Strange"

The following is taken from my first entry into "The Outraged Person's Guide To Surviving MS", a project started by Lori K. of the blog 12 December 2008

We're all different, aren't we classmates? And what happens to you or me or he or she or anyone who deals with Multiple Sclerosis is gonna have a different perspective when it comes to all this stuff. You hear that almost the instant you discover MS.

It's like the first sentence in the handbook. Everyone's MS symptoms and effects are different. You read that and go, "Gee, thanks, that doesn't help me whatsoever when I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with me". The bizarre things that happen to our bodies without explanation are maddening. Not like life-stuff isn't frustrating enough already. Life for people with MS is serious toughness. Especially for the undiagnosed.

I was undiagnosed for years. I was told the tingling and the numbness were my fault. I was told: You're out of shape, that's the reason. You're stressed, that's the reason. You're... (*doctor shrugs*) sick? MS and it's undefinedness, combined with doctors who run the system like a business instead of like actual healthcare, can drive a person insane. Later when you're diagnosed they will tell you that stress will worsen your condition. So maybe a lawsuit is in order for all those years of misery.

Anyway, back on point, we're all different. Duh. But there is something you can't blame on MS and the symptom grab-bag, and that is awful people. Lori touched on it, but I want to rant a bit more. There's a community out there (and it's pretty damn big) that believe saying your prayers and eating your vitamins are gonna solve the big problems. Throw in "the power of positivity" and you got yourself a recipe for eww.

Chat rooms of MS'ers are out there full of people who pray for each other and discuss the next wacky theory that might solve this bizarre disease. Websites are up that tell you that Multiple Sclerosis is merely a hiccup in a life and you can live easy-peasy as everyone else if you just stay positive. Then there are the people who are more concerned about the politics of MS rather than their own health. All of these people form the majority because they are loud, pushy, and rally like crazy. Meanwhile those of us who are realistic and NORMAL just go about our business and chat with our friends and avoid our families (don't lie, you know you do).

Because of normalcy, our web-presence is obviously lacking. The internet is basically weirdos, funny cat pictures and pornography. Finding real people like us is tough. Yes, I just called myself real. Real weird! (These are the jokes people, start laughing) But it's like I've said when talking to my MS buddies whenever the new big MS thing hits the web - These people are so unreal. All the "living with MS is easy" crap is warping the minds of people without MS. It's also harming new MS'ers.

Poor newbies. They're shamed into thinking that they are damaged if they aren't positive and active. Shamed because they aren't smiling while their body does whatever it wants without reason. Shamed into believing they aren't normal. Instead, people need to be able to read about how people handle life, good or bad. No discussions, no debates, just lay it all out and let people decide for themselves how to live their own lives.

No one is perfect, no one is normal. We're all freaks. MS or not. People need to get that through their thick skulls and maybe be a whole lot less uptight. How about we let people live their lives without shoving agenda down their throats, without pressuring with positivity, without forcing Jesus or whoever on them. Calm down, be a little less rah-rah-rah, and be a little more cool. Remember cool? Fonzie was cool. Be more Fonzie.

I Would Walk 500 Miles

Life is complicated, am I right classmates? Teachers always be telling you to quiet down and do your work... Whatevs, old person! Us boys just wanna act aggressively and them girls just wanna have fun. Pokemon! Lisa Frank stickers!

Back on point. Life is complicated. Especially when it comes to the whole human interaction and relating thing. No? For me it is. I never know exactly what I'm doing when it comes to these matters. I think I operate on a different wavelength than normal people do because I don't really do things that people usually do. I don't understand things people seem to understand. I can't read signals and signs and all that and I'm oblivious to all those things. I'm better at other stuff, I swear. I just need a little help when it comes to these things, because history has shown that I don't seem to handle them very well all by myself.

When I get into that spot where I can feel relaxed enough to be myself and humorous and all that mess, I can do fairly well for myself. The problem is, I don't seem to stay in that spot for very long. I'll get tripped up on something, stick my foot in my mouth or fall into a misunderstanding-pit or whatever and next thing I know I'm back to not knowing how to handle myself or what to say. Most times I'll panic and say something even more stupid. If I'm lucky I'll just shut up, but I've never been good at being quiet. Even when I was a kid, I'd get in trouble just for talking. Talking! Oh, it's such a crime...

So over time I think maybe I'll learn from my mistakes and get better. The only thing is, I really haven't gotten any better. I'm still the same awkward weirdo that I've always been. I guess the key is to find people who appreciate awkward weirdos, and understand that I operate differently than most people do. Maybe. Then again, maybe not. Just gonna have to wait and find out.

I'm A Pair Of Shoes

Seriously. I've started to identify with my own shoes. Have I gone wacko or what? Here are my shoes...

(You can thank my crappy phone for the terrible quality)

So there are my shoes. People have told me they look ugly. Now they are coming apart a little. They probably need to be replaced. For all of these statements, I could say the same about myself. Does no one like these shoes but me?

Everyone needs a pair of shoes. No one wants these.

Little Updates Made Of Ticky-Tacky

What has been going on with me lately? Well, I am slowly easing myself back into working a crappy job. Thankfully they aren't pushing me to do alot more just yet (they don't know about the MonSter, shh!), and well, I'm just glad to get a few hours here and there. Honestly, I'd leave the job in a second if I found something else a little better, but you take what you can get, right?

Anyway, what else is going on? Well, not a ton. I was benched from doing my theater surveys, so no more free movies for a while. Bummer. I've had some really good chats lately that have definitely made my days, which is nice. I'm not exactly sure what to do about some situations, but I am gonna just enjoy what I can and basically gloss over stuff I don't have answers to. I got to spend a nice evening in with some friends, an awesome couple who are just geeky enough so I don't feel like I'm the big dork in the room. Oh, also the first person to buy one of the t-shirts I designed got a hold of me and sent me a photo of her wearing it!


So there we go. That was some serious update action right up in your face. Hope you enjoyed it.

The Best Things Seem Out Of Reach

Sometimes I wonder if I could just pick up and move. I don't have much saved (2k, although another 5k is owed to me but that's a different story altogether), and I don't have a vehicle, or much in the way of skills and talent... but I mean, it could be done right? Right?

See, it's the uncertainty. That's why I don't do it. I cannot handle uncertainty. If there are too many questions to be answered, and not enough structure for me to settle in to, I basically freak out. Not like an external freak out where I end up doing destructive things to others. More like an internal freak out where I end up shutting down and cutting myself off from just about everything. It's the stress that does it.

Maybe if I knew what situation I was getting into. In my other moves, I was going to school, or moving in with other people. There were friends and people who I knew would be there if I needed someone. Foundation, no matter how shaky, is still something I can work with. There's nothing out there, outside of California, that I can think of. Where is the backup?

Or is that the point? I could just do it and deal with all the problems as they arise. Finding a place. Finding a job. Making sure I am on top of my medical bills and the rest of those awful monetary pitfalls. Just give it my best shot and win, lose, or draw I could say I did it.

I really have no clue. I think that's actually my motto or the title of my self-help book or something - "I Have No Clue (and you can do it too!)" by Damon. Seriously though, do you have any suggestions? Opinions? Do you wanna yell at me because I am being so stupid? Probably the latter, but either way I wouldn't mind hearing what you have to say... (Uh oh, did I just open Pandora's Box of Awful?)

Professor Don Weiner

They Never Taught Us That In School

Am I really that bad? I have been asking myself that almost every day. I read the stories, the accounts of people and their struggles with the MonSter and it just confuses me further. It seems to me that some people have it pretty darn bad, and I am actually doing good. So why is it that when I am in situations where I shouldn't have a problem, I totally suck? I hate it, but I keep coming back to the conclusion that it isn't my MS that is causing all the trouble. It's me! It has to be. I just am not good at this whole living life like a normal human being thing.

I think this whole work thing just has me all in a twist. I have a job that pretty much anyone can do, and yet all I do is worry that I'm gonna screw up or not be able to handle it. I worry about my brain and how my mind just seems to go blank and stay blank. I worry about how tired I get after being there for only an hour or two. I worry about not being able to keep up and do everything that is expected of me. I look at coworkers and I wonder why these silly people can do things with ease while I'm slow to learn things and complete the little tasks I'm given.

Of course, all that thinking and worrying is just making it worse. What little brainpower I have left these days is quickly used up and wasted on these crazy concerns. When I actually need my mind to work, it just doesn't. Then I get that blank look on my face, my mouth hanging open slightly and my eyes glazed over... These people at work are gonna start to think I am on drugs or something.

So what do I do? Well, I've tried looking over all the information about disability and SSI and all that crap and after maybe reading a paragraph, my mind just shuts down and I can't concentrate or take in any more. I've tried to read this stuff like a bajillion times but I can't get any information. I might as well be reading some random book in a foreign language, because I am not getting a word of it. None of it makes a lick of sense to me. If I can't even read the stuff, how am I supposed to figure out if I qualify?

I asked my neurologist a while back about the whole disability thing while I was in the process of getting my diagnosis. She told me I'd essentially have to be blind or in a wheelchair to get anything to happen. That's... Ugh. Did MS really have to be practically invisible? As for the people who determine if I qualify or not, aren't the MRIs showing crazy spots and stuff in my brain and spine enough? The fact that I have to live with this for the rest of my life, is that not something serious? A pox on your houses!

I'd ask for help, but I have no clue who to ask. Plus, I get the sense that I'd be fighting a losing battle. So after all this, all I end up doing is telling myself to forget about it and focus on getting over my struggles with work. It would really be a huge help, and I would love to leave home once again, but at this point it all seems... It's just not gonna happen. What's the word I'm looking for?... Dismal.

One Big Holiday

It's just another one of those days. "Those days" where nothing specific happens but I can actually feel myself falling downward. Down the drain and into that dark space where all I can see is the bad stuff. I don't expect anyone to feel bad for me or anything, it's not like something particular happened today. This stuff seems to happen all the time now. I understand that there are factors in AND out of my control that contribute to this sucky feeling, I just wish it wasn't happening. Period.

Each time this happens, I seem to find some other piece of my life I am dissatisfied with to focus on. This time it is the whole job thing. I'm pissed with myself for being less than grateful that I've found a job. I'm angry that I didn't do enough early on so I could get a job I would be happy with. I'm upset that I can't figure out some way to make a living so I can be more independent and leave home once again. I'm bothered by the way I don't feel like I fit in, no matter where I am. Oh, and I'm beyond angry that I get tired so goddamned fast and it hurts to walk, stand, or even bend down to sit.

Now it's not like I expect all or even one or two of these things to change. It's more probable they will never change. That's my experience anyway. The only thing I can even imagine happening is some sort of crazy miracle, where in the end I end up happy and everything works out perfect without me even trying. Do you know why that would happen? It would happen because it would just be another moment of the universe screwing with me. Messing with my mind and proving once more that I know nothing at all.

So what conclusions have I come to today? Well, I need to get used to sudden moments of depression. I should also find a partner and we should go out on the road as grifters, conning people out of their savings so that I can one day live comfortably. Then I won't have to think so hard about the stuff I have been worrying about today. Instead I'll just have to worry about things like being arrested or being double-crossed or something like that. I would much rather worry about that crazy stuff anyway. Better to deal with insanity than the mundane.

Oh, and if I could find someone to keep me company, that'd be great too. Actually, that would be pretty huge.

Dreaming Is Real

Remember this??
So dreams sometimes do come true... First there was pizza. DREAM COME TRUE! Then there was Wes Anderson movies. DREAM COME TRUE! Of course there's women. DREAM COME TRUE! And let's not forget... Jesus? Well, whatever. The point is, sometimes if you want something it can totally happen. This lady knows whats up -

Don't get confused, I AM NOT FLOATING AROUND WITH BALLOONS! Okay, once you stop crying about the balloons...

Anyway in that previous post I made a picture using a photograph I took and I thought it'd be totally cool to have it on a t-shirt... And now it is!


You can buy a shirt now with that picture on it! My picture! Some of the proceeds go to your local National Multiple Sclerosis Society chapter, so good deed done. More importantly, you'll have a shirt designed by Damon!!!

If you get a shirt, take a picture wearing it or putting it on your dog. Send the pic in and I'll post it along with a huge YAAAAAAY!

A Bit Of 70s Spirit

OUTATIME

Okay, I get it. So I can't over-do things or whatever. I heard everyone tell me that, but come on. That's just not fair. Let me do stuff! It's not like I am trying to do a marathon or something.

Let us go over my day for a bit. From my morning until I went in to fill out papers for the new job this afternoon at 1.

After dragging myself out of bed and getting up at 9 I went into the living room and hopped onto my laptop. I discovered some awesome deal at Target for some DVDs so I had some printing of coupons to do. My problem was that I couldn't connect to the network printer so I ended up spending two hours working out all the crazy details due to the host computer's switch to Windows 7 and my own wacky settings. Two hours. But it's computer stuff. Not very physical except the occasional walking back and forth between computers (7 feet apart). Not too bad.

I start to feel the time crunch, but not too bad. After I beat the printer problem I decided to oblige a request to put some music on my sister's iPhone along with a cool Freaks & Geeks ringtone. That's definitely not physical, but it gave me a hell of a time because I had to mess with some of the settings and it was just more pain-in-the-ass stuff I was dealing with. Of course I am also paying attention to the clock which is telling me now I only have an hour and a half until I have to leave.

Well, then I decide I can squeeze in some exercise. I am trying to be better at that stuff, and my plan is to try and cycle at least 10 miles every day on the exercise bike. That plus a shower and all that made it a tight squeeze for the time I had left, but I did it anyway. I actually did pretty well. I was a bit sore but less than I thought I would be. After the shower and getting ready I was actually feeling pretty good.

All the annoyances and work and exercise I had to tackle was conquered one at a time and I was ready to go. So off I went, feelin' good. Well off I go. I make a stop beforehand at a store nearby and when I finally got to the job to fill out papers, I'm standing in an air conditioned environment and I realize I am sweating like crazy. What the hell? And I feel like everything I did all day just hit me all at once like a ton of bricks. Thankfully I didn't really have to anything but fill out a form, nod, agree and smile. But for realsies... I was wiped out.

Yea, I know it's my fault. I didn't keep an eye on my energy meters and account for the fact that I lose energy faster than normal people. What can I say? I'm stupid. Well, maybe it's just the whole thing is still new to me. I have to learn my own limits. But right now I'm in the "all or nothing" mode still. Some days I'd rather go all out and take care of business. Other days I'd rather just sit and watch television. Let's face it, those TV day are most days.

Whatever. All I know is, by that point it was only mid-day and I was no longer in the position to do anything energy taxing, and that included dealing with people. So after I had finished my paperwork and left for Target to take advantage of that super deal (remember? this morning? the printer problems?) I was in no mood for any guff. So when the guff came my way I pretty much hit them with all I had.

Was I rude? Yes. Did they deserve it? Oh absolutely. They were terrible at their job. I have worked at Target before, and my mother works there now. I know what needed to be done was easy. Too bad they were just beyond awful and didn't know how to do their own job. I was "Stern Damon" and I was more than willing to yell as loud as need be. Was my demeanor linked to my irresponsibility with my energy levels? Probably. You know what though? Too bad. She deserved it. No apologies from me. Not this time. Maybe next time.

All and all I ended up getting stuff done, getting a hell of a deal, and getting a monster headache. I know I could have handled things better, but hindsight is 20-20 and I can't go back and change anything. Not yet anyway. Not until I get my DeLorean. Then it's 88 m.p.h baby!

Raditude

Standing in the cold, outside behind the Best Buy in Chino Hills, I'm waiting to get autographs from the members of my favorite band - Weezer. They've been in that position, officially, since 1994… or was it 1995? Hell if can remember such details these days. If I had known then that my brain wires were gonna start to break, I would have written stuff down, taken more photos, or at least purchased an extended warranty.

Anyway, it is really cold out here! This can't be good for me and my wacky temperature-sensitive MS body. Maybe if I was smart I would have worn a jacket. Oh well, at least I have my layers of fat.

There are a few parents out here who have their babies or toddlers or whatever with them out in this cold. Seeing these people makes me question not only them, but myself. Would I do the same? I mean, they are my official favorite band... The fact that I consider it proves - I have bad judgment!

I feel so old here! Well, I feel so old almost everywhere. Except when people start talking about things like kids and careers and all that stuff. I'm still a Toys R Us kid okay?! Anyway, I am pretty sure I am older than quite a few people here. That's sad though. I mean, their first CD came out 15 years ago. So you figure that fans of theirs should be around the 30s area age-wise. These people do not look that old. Where are the OG fans? (Oh yea, those parents with the frozen babies) Most of these people here had to have started with Hash Pipe or Island in the Sun or something... Keep Fishing? Perfect Situation? Jeez, what if they only know Pork & Beans or the new single? These people are bad news bears.

It is nice to have my sister here too. She's gonna get her Muppets metal lunch box signed. Good choice! Me, I'm gonna get CD booklets signed, one for each band member. Rivers can sign his solo CD, "Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo". Pat can sign "Land, Sea, Air" from his own band Special Goodness. I'll have Scott sign "Raditude" and Brian can sign "Maladroit". This way signatures aren't all squeezed onto one little booklet and I get around the 1-Item-Only rule for the autographs. Cleverness!

Looking around, people are getting some silly stuff signed instead of just an album or CD. An XBox? A bottle of tequila? A shoe?! Okay people, come on now. I could have brought one of the shirts I have put away from concerts I went to, but I think what I have will be good. I'm keeping it simple. No need to get all wacky.

Alrighty, I'm going in...





Well that was cool! The guys were nice. Not really talkative, but I mean with all these people you kinda just wanna be in keep-it-moving mode. Except Pat! When I gave Pat the cover of the Special Goodness CD to sign he was like DUUUUUUUDE! He was so psyched, which made me super happy. Then he was telling me they will have a new CD soon and I of course told him I can't wait. So that was nice.

Here are the covers... (Yea, the Raditude one got smeared a little. *sad face*)



And my sister's lunch box...


Afterwards my sister played a little Rock Band on an in-store display that had some Weezer songs loaded onto it and rocked the drums on "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations On A Shaker Hymn)". Then we watched the band sign some more before we left. On the way out, we got one of the employees to give us each a button that the workers were wearing to promote the event. She got a blue one and I got a green one. Sister wins since blue is cooler, but she's the one who asked, so she gets the better one. Thems the rules.

Well, that went pretty well. I'm satisfied. Best part? When Pat got psyched. Go Pat! The guys seemed real nice and I love the new album. I've had it on repeat for days now. It's been 15 years since the debut, here's to 15 more... Cheers!

I Need This On A Shirt

This was my creative moment of the night...

That's crazy! Like goldfish crackers and bananas...

I've been thinking about writing a blog for a few days, but it seems to always fall by the wayside. Well, I guess I'm giving it a shot now! It's not gonna be fully fleshed out, mostly I'll just touch on stuff.

I'm dizzy right now, just sitting here on the couch. Isn't it marvelous to know that stuff doesn't even have to happen for there to be dizziness? Bonkers indeed.

So I found out that my father was looking into ways to maybe get me onto his medical insurance plan from work as a way to try and help me out with the whole insurance payments thing. Very nice of him, but I told him it probably wasn't a good idea. I have a really good thing going for me right now with my plan. I got in pre-diagnosis, so I didn't have any condition that would jack up the rate. I gotta hang on to that. It was a nice thing for him to try and do though.

I'm gonna be starting my new job soon. I'm not too nervous, although I am sure that'll change as the day gets closer. I'm sure I'll be fine (it's not like it is something serious) but there is always stuff to worry about. The usual symptom type stuff. The fatigue. The awful memory and cognitive stuff. The ability to handle stress. Those are things that will always be obstacles for me to have to deal with, so I just gotta get used to it. Just because I have a lame brain doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to handle a stupid job like this one. Plenty of people who are stupid and have no excuse for their boneheadedness are successfully employed. Just ask your mom. Oh snap!

I pronounce "pecans" like you would pronounce the phrase "I bought a can of peas".

My brother told me what will end up on my gravestone. A quote of my own. I guess maybe I need to be more careful about the things I say. Or at least be a little less honest... Quote: "I barely like family, let alone strangers" Welcome to heaven Damon!

How do I deal with my MS? I ignore it. Then it whoops my ass. I'll learn someday that I should be better at things like diet and exercise and know my limits with both of those things, but I am still "fairly" young. I should still be allowed at least a mild level of recklessness. So how do you deal with yours?

Why do I equate being "real" with being cranky and pessimistic? I'm sorry, but when people have this can-do attitude and an outlook on life that any and everything is achievable as long as you believe... those people need to get kicked in the face. Get real. Stuff is tough. You might also wanna throw a little humor into your repertoire. Serious people suck. Oh, and feel free to throw in some colorful language, fucker.

2 notes -

1. Note to people I talk to regularly: I adore you. Thank you for putting up with my crap.
2. Note about the image usage in this blog: I just picked a phrase out of each paragraph and did a google image search. Didn't it really spice it up?! :-)

A Letter From The Desk Of Damon Davila

Dear credit card company rewards program,

I was only a handful of points away from earning a $100 Visa gift card and now you double the required amount of points? Really? Assholes! I mean come on now. Not fair. Not fair at all. I call shenanigans on this one.

Who am I kidding? This happens to me constantly. All the goddamned time. Why should I be surprised now? Well, despite that fact, I'd still appreciate it if you people at "Dreampoints" go fuck yourselves.

Thanks,
Damon

It's Oh So Nerdy

Weezer ft. Sara Bareilles - (If You're Wondering If I Want You to) I Want You To...

Some people might not think Weezer is good anymore and that their first two albums are the only ones worth anything. I think they're still good, just different.

Anyway, I enjoyed the video. In fact I think I had a nice little nerd-gasm. A small one. Don't worry, I am still good to go again.

The Invention of Terrible

Do we expect too much from those in pop music? Not enough?

This is the question that we must ask ourselves. Well, actually I'm not sure about "us", I don't know what kind of music you listen to. I don't even listen to pop music. Well, in the sense that I don't listen to Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Usher or whatever. But lemme get back on point here. Are those "artists" being asked to do too much by the fans?

Before I start to sound too sympathetic to people I don't even actually care for, let me just start off by telling you what their problem really is. The problem is that pop music is no longer a medium for music. No, apparently people aren't too interested in music anymore. These days pop music is a forum for performers. Performers are very different from musicians. That is clearer now more than ever.

This fact is personified, at least in my mind, by the microphone headset. It is a bit more handy than the classic microphone, since now the person has two free hands instead of one. Where I find a problem is when it's only being used as a prop. There are people on stage who will wear these headsets and dance around pretending to sing. They "perform" for an audience who probably paid outrageous ticket prices and fees to have the privilege to watch such fakery.

So maybe we should just change the genre term completely. Instead of calling it pop music we could call it performance music. They perform music, maybe with their voice, MAYBE, but mostly they are performing for their audience, putting forth an image. But let's face facts people, there's a difference between being a musician and a performer. Sure you can be both, but don't let those fakers out there fool you.

Sure, we have chastised some for such activities, like Ashley Simpson or Milli Vanilli, but how are these people any different from other performers? The ones who dance around like crazy and do so with such intensity that they can't possibly sound their best, no matter how talented they are. So because the audiences today ask for such explosive, high energy, dancy & performy type shows, does that mean that it's okay to just skip the singing part altogether?

So what if their concerts were a bit less dancy, a little less performy, and instead they actually went up to the mic and gave it their all? I bet the crowd would be super pissed. Why? Well probably because they'd realize that the people they paid huge ticket prices to see actually aren't very good at all. Okay, so some of them might actually be good. Totally possible. I think it should happen though, it'd help get rid if some of the crap out there...

So to those pop music performers out there, the ones that are crap - You're lucky as all hell. Thank the heavens above that you're getting away with the stuff you do.

And to those who actually are talented, well, I would give you more credit, but those bad apples are spoiling your bunch. Maybe if you stopped dancing around like crazy though, I might be able to focus on your talent. Or just keep performing. Either way. I mean, I'm not Mr. Music Industry or professor of how to be awesome or whatever. I'm just saying, maybe there's a better way. Or at least a less awful, more happy medium.