Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Secrets & Lies

Um, okay, so I never go into situations with a plan. It just doesn't happen. If I start to think about how I should enter into a situation, or how I should handle certain stuff, I just end up thinking TOO hard on the matter at hand. Overthinking at it's finest.

How does it look from this angle? From that angle? What are all the possible outcomes? How can I make it so that all the negative results are canceled out and only the good stuff remains? Determine all the possible moves and their end results and figure out what is best... You know, I'm beginning to think that my childhood has screwed me over.

What do I mean by that? Well, okay, so here's an example - Choose Your Own Adventure books. Yes, those books were AWESOME! I mean you start reading a story and at some point you're presented with options as to what sort of action to take. It continues on like that. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes you cheat and turn back the pages to that crucial fork in the road. The point is, with these books, you start to really focus on decision-making and the numerous pitfalls that can result from making the wrong move. Seriously! Sometimes you would actually fall DOWN A PIT!

All I know is that it's exactly what I tend to do with all of life's decisions. I think about all these things. I analyze and pick and prod until I get fed up and tell myself to forget the whole thing. Either that or I come to a conclusion, but by then the opportunity has passed. No matter what, I end up screwing myself out of experiences because I don't wanna fall down a pit and admit I made a stupid mistake.

So what I have been trying to do is just ignore my natural tendencies and try and be a bit more impulsive. A bit more brazen. A bit more adventurous. Of course I'm not gonna be wild and crazy, that's just not me. I am low key. Still, I am gonna do a few things that I probably wouldn't do otherwise. If I end up doing something stupid, so be it. At least I did it. Plus, I am confident that I am at least smart enough to make certain decisions that will keep me from ending up completely screwed.

I might end up pissing some people off though. If one of them is you, well, sorry!

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