Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Don't Say You'll Never Be Angry With Me, Just Say You'll Forgive Me

Got an appointment with my Neurologist in a few hours. First thing in the morning. I've actually been looking forward to it for a few days. Not exactly sure why I should look forward to such things. I could remember a time when the idea of going to see a doctor was nightmarish. I avoided doctors like they were gonna chop off my hoo-hoo-dilly. Then again, back then it was for stupid stuff like a flu or something. Stuff I could handle on my own with some over the counter medication and a little patience. Walk it off! Now here I am in a totally different situation, so I guess it's not that surprising that my attitude is different as well.

So I am going just as a check-in sort of thing. Last time I was in I was getting my off-work order extended so I could get more temporary disability checks while I searched for work. While I was there we discussed how I was feeling (no different, nothing new except the additional bad feelings from the seasonal weather changes). Then she tells me to come back in December so we could check in again and go over some blood tests I would take right before. So I've taken my tests (easy-peasy), and now I'm ready to go. I don't expect anything, but that could be why I actually look forward to these things. To reaffirm that there isn't anything new that is wrong with me. No news is good news, am I right?

I'm also planning on bringing up some of the brain issues I feel like I've got going on. I feel like I have serious memory problems. Sometimes I seem to *think* I see things, but I'm wrong. At times I'll overlook things a bunch before I actually see them. I'll also bring up how at work I get zapped after about an hour and a half when all I've really been doing is sorting and putting away movies. Maybe it's the being on my feet thing, maybe it's the brain stuff, maybe it's the combo. Either way it's a hurdle and while I don't think she can really do anything about it, I feel like I should mention it.

One thing I am NOT looking forward to is when they do that whole check my blood pressure and my weight thing. Now my blood pressure has never really been a problem, so I am not worried about that, but my weight isn't gonna be good. Nope. Not at all. By my estimates over this past year I've gained over 20 pounds. Ugh. I know, it's all pretty much my own fault, but we all know it's not that easy to take care of. Every time I get that spirit to exercise it lasts only so long and then my body just quits. The soreness sticks around longer and longer each time and the spirit to work out disappears. So, this weigh-in will just be another reminder of my downhill slide towards uggghs-ville. All I know is, while I'm aware I gotta work alot harder at doing better with all this stuff, I can only PRAY that someone will be able to look past my exterior mess and appreciate the Damon inside.

Well, I'm sure if anything actually interesting comes up at the appointment then I'll write it down here in my own weird sort of way. Otherwise, just assume that everything is as normal as it's gonna be for me, nothings changed, and that scale I was frowning at wasn't kind to me.

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