The Best Things Seem Out Of Reach

Sometimes I wonder if I could just pick up and move. I don't have much saved (2k, although another 5k is owed to me but that's a different story altogether), and I don't have a vehicle, or much in the way of skills and talent... but I mean, it could be done right? Right?

See, it's the uncertainty. That's why I don't do it. I cannot handle uncertainty. If there are too many questions to be answered, and not enough structure for me to settle in to, I basically freak out. Not like an external freak out where I end up doing destructive things to others. More like an internal freak out where I end up shutting down and cutting myself off from just about everything. It's the stress that does it.

Maybe if I knew what situation I was getting into. In my other moves, I was going to school, or moving in with other people. There were friends and people who I knew would be there if I needed someone. Foundation, no matter how shaky, is still something I can work with. There's nothing out there, outside of California, that I can think of. Where is the backup?

Or is that the point? I could just do it and deal with all the problems as they arise. Finding a place. Finding a job. Making sure I am on top of my medical bills and the rest of those awful monetary pitfalls. Just give it my best shot and win, lose, or draw I could say I did it.

I really have no clue. I think that's actually my motto or the title of my self-help book or something - "I Have No Clue (and you can do it too!)" by Damon. Seriously though, do you have any suggestions? Opinions? Do you wanna yell at me because I am being so stupid? Probably the latter, but either way I wouldn't mind hearing what you have to say... (Uh oh, did I just open Pandora's Box of Awful?)

WELCOME!

I moved all the old blog stuff here, to this new WONDERFUL page. Hopefully I'll start writing again. The occasional review, yes, but also personal stuff. Personal stuff? Yea, I'll probably be bitching about my Multiple Sclerosis (I was officially diagnosed in June) and about my current inability to find work and whatever else I feel like complaining about. Sounds fun, right?

Well, maybe I'll throw in fun stuff like how outraged I am that MTV is developing a show based on Teen Wolf (blasphemy!) or all the cool stuff thats been happening (Dave Grohl is rockin' the drums again with members of Queens of the Stone Age and Led Zeppelin?!?). I'd also like to every once and a while post a playlist so the ZERO people who read my blog can maybe find some cool stuff to (probably never actually) listen to. So yes, fun times ahead!

Well, at least until I abandon another blog again....