Public Opinion

I've always been pretty crap in social situations. Everyone who knows me, knows that to be true. It takes more than just a first meeting to see the person I am and it takes A LOT more to see the person that I can be. The only thing is, it takes more than one or two contrived social interactions to get to that point.

I won't say I don't care completely what other peoples opinions are of me. Whether it's trying to make new friends, maintain the ones I have, or make a good impression for other reasons, people and their opinion of me can matter. At this point though, I can't be bothered to worry about such things. I've got enough on my mind to care what anyone thinks of me.

Of course I'm not gonna be dead about it, and just not care. The mean stuff is still gonna hurt a bit. Right now though, I've got it all narrowed down. I hold some people and their opinions way above everyone else, and in doing so, I'm able to care a lot less what others think. As long as I have those people who see me for who I am, love me and care about me, I could really give a damn about anyone else or what they think.

Now it might be selfish or self-centered to also push other people and their feelings aside in the process. All just to maintain my own sense of happiness and stability and reach that place where I can maintain a truly happy life. Thing is, life is way too short and way too unpredictable to worry about every single person and how they feel and what they will think. I have to look out for MY-self and for those that I love above all else. If I can do that, I'll definitely be able to be proud of myself.